they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
