Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Panties = found
Randomize
