I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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