The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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