her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
