I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
