You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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