I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
