It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When are your genitals available?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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