So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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