He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
