Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
