the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
