I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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