Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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