if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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