hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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