Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
