My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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