people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
