Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
