Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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