Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
