So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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