so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
