dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think people are normalizing furries
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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