I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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