He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
