I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
