Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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