This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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