So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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