You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
