Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
