I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He did a backflip because drugs
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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