He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
