so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
