Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
