Already got asked if we're dating
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
