Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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