Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
