Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
