Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
