But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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