Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
