The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
