Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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