You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My breasts were aching with rage.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
