Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
