my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
