Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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